Divorce and separation can be extremely hard on adults. But then beyond that, it can be even more difficult on children, especially if they’re at an age where they are most sensitive to family changes. So, it’s ideal to work with your partner on the best way to handle divorce and separation to help children move through it as best they can.
You need to look at separation and divorce from a legal perspective, as a responsible adult, from the idea where going to family therapy might help, and from the angle of making sure that you expand your family support during difficult times.
From a Legal Perspective
From a legal perspective, working through separation and divorce can be quite trying. Each spouse may have a lawyer working to get them the best deal possible, and this may go slightly contrary to what the parents themselves think. But, lawyers are the ones who are going to fight for you to get what’s best for the children, so make it very clear what your priorities are as early as possible in the legal proceedings.
As a Responsible Adult
You should be able to handle the details of divorce and separation as a responsible adult as well. To avoid tension between divorcing parents, you always need to consider that you have the potential to be the bigger person. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong in the course of your marriage – it’s up to you to make sure that you make the best decisions for yourself and your children. If your partner is not going to cooperate with that, you have to figure out how to assert yourself responsibly to achieve the best results in the end.
Going To Family Therapy
It may benefit your entire family if you end up going to family therapy after the divorce. Trained therapists will be able to guide your family through all of the necessary discussion points that you might not be able to pursue on your own. Having that third party between you and your spouse or between you and the rest of your family members may be exactly what you need to move forward peacefully.
Expanding Your Family Support
After you separate, look to your family for additional support. Especially if you and your spouse were close before you separated or divorced, you’re going to need someone to fill that psychological space for you and your children. Immediate family like mothers and siblings can help, and extended family like cousins can play a role as well. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your family in times of need, and this can be a good chance for them to bond with your children as well.